


I Don't Have A Way With Words

by authorbooklover



Series: A way with words [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Tony, M/M, Miscommunication, Steve Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authorbooklover/pseuds/authorbooklover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve doesn't seem to understand why Tony can't let go.  If Tony let's go, then who will he be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Have A Way With Words

**Author's Note:**

> Just...I don't even know.

The darkness had begun to creep into his mind again. He thought that he could keep it at bay for a little while longer, it's why he locked his self down in the workshop for so many days. Squinting at the project in front of him. Tony moved his hand up to enlarge the design. Looking at the picture of Cap's shield did nothing to stave off the blackness that was racing across his thoughts. Knocking over the tools next to him Tony abruptly stood up from the work table. 

"JARVIS run lockdown procedure 58 Alpha." Tony slowly made his way towards the back of the workshop where he kept hidden the alcohol. Not even Pepper had come close to finding this stash.

"Yes sir. Might I suggest setting an alarm this time?" The A.I. sounded concerned. 

Snorting Tony shook his head. No one would be concerned about him if they knew the truth. He had programmed JARVIS to sound this way. Of course only a computer would care about the great Tony Stark.

"No J, no alarms. If vitals drop to near death then alert Pepper." Fishing out the old scotch that was in the back, Tony to a swig straight from the bottle. The blackness in his mind cheered in triumph. Making his way to the couch, he sat down heavily. As the billionaire drank more, the more the dark thoughts raced through his mind.

Breaking the suffocating silence of the workshop Tony began to scream. He could feel his throat tear and begin to bleed but he kept screaming.

"You were right dad. Like always you were right. Look at me now, what have I done to prove I deserved a second chance? There is still weapons, hell there this here," He banged the now empty bottle against his arc reactor, "is just a ticking time bomb. Maybe I should let it go once, seems like the only thing I'm good at is sacrificing myself for others. And is anyone of them grateful? No!" Tony threw the bottle across the workshop where it shattered against a work table. 

Laughing hysterically Tony clutched at his head. Tears were beginning to prick at his eyes. "You always said i would never be as good as Captain America and you were right. Jesus were you right. The man is the walking embodiment of good and righteous. I am just his shadow also. Always leaving a dark spot behind him." Wiping his eyes he leaned back against the couch cushions. Closing his eyes he pictured Steve. "I want to be like him dad. I want to be in his light. I'm afraid to touch him half the time. I'm scared I'll leave dirt on him. Ha, what would he say now? The Tony Stark, being the weak son of a bitch that his father always knew he was." Tony muttered to himself. The darkness overwhelmed his senses, dragging him into sleep.

 

Steve hadn't heard from Tony or seen him in at least five days. The last mission that the team was on was a tough one for all of them. Tony took the hardest hit whenever a Stark Industries weapon was found at the Hydra base. Steve had never seen the engineer shut down so quickly. Sighing he ran a hand through his hair glancing at the elevator doors. What could it hurt to go down to the workshop and see if Tony needed anything. According to Clint, he hadn't bothered to come up for anything to eat either.

Pushing the button to the workshop, Steve waited for the elevator to arrive. After a few moments looked around. 

"Uh, JARVIS?" He tentatively asked.

"Yes, Captain Rogers?" 

"Why isn't the elevator working?" Steve made a point to hit the button again.

"Sir does not want to be interrupted at this time." The A.I. said after a moment of pause.

Narrowing his eyes Steve glared at the shining elevator doors. "I'll just take the stairs then." Moving towards the stairs Steve tried to keep out all the thoughts that were rushing through his head. He could just imagine a depressed Tony using a blow torch then burning himself severely on it. Hurrying his steps he was all but sprinting down the stairs.

Sliding to a stop in front of the glass doors, Steve took a sharp intake of breath. There was tools and glass shattered all around the work shop. It looked like a battle had gone on. Knocking on the door he looked around for any sign of Tony. When no answer came, Steve tried the access code that Stark had given all of them when they first moved in. He kept getting denied.

"JARVIS open the door." He shook the handles.

"I am not authorized to do so at this time Captain. Sir has given strict orders that no one is allowed in or out unless his vitals drop. That has not accorded yet." The A.I. sounded pained.

Steve gave the door one final shake. Hanging his head against the door Steve took a deep breath. "Fine, if he wants to lock us out of his life let him. He can die for all I care in there. He only cares about himself and the company." Anger swelled hot and ugly in the Captain. If Tony wanted to handle this shit on his own then let him. Steve turned away from the door only to hesitate. He knew why he was so deeply effected by the mans standoffish behavior. They had gotten close recently and now if felt as though Tony had slammed an invisible door that could have led to something. As he took a step away, he heard a loud crash.

Flinging himself at the glass door, he shattered through into the mess of the workshop. 

"Stark! Stark are you hurt?" Steve rounded one of the work tables, stopping short of the sight before him. Surrounded by empty alcohol bottles sat Tony. Taking a closer look Steve could tell that he had fallen off of the couch onto the bottles, effectively cutting himself in multiple places. "Stark, you okay?" Getting closer, Steve heard light snoring coming from the man. Rolling his eyes, Steve bent down to pick the man up.  
I might as well get him cleaned up and in a proper bed, Steve thought. 

As Steve walked out of the workshop with the sleeping genius in his arms, he caught bits and pieces of what the billionaire was saying in his sleep. 

"You were right dad, I will never be like him. I will never be as right as him. I know dad, I'm nothing compared to Captain America."

**Author's Note:**

> Small part of a series maybe?


End file.
